2006, 2007...

I can't believe it's 2007! I'll turn 20 this year. Weird. I just wanted to take this late-night can't-sleep opportunity to write about how amazing my life is. Tonight at work I was really tired and I ended up just breaking down and crying. (Don't ask why I'm not sleeping then; I know, it makes no sense.) My co-worker Sadie (whom I absolutely love!) thought it was because of something she said, and when I denied that, she asked what was wrong then. And I thought for a moment, and realized how wonderful my life really is. And so I want to take this opportunity to look back on my blessings, especially over the last 12 months....

One year ago today was the first day of my freshman winter semester. Man that was a crazy time. Heartbreak, drama, matchmaking and horrible philosophy class all plagued my life. But winter 2006 brought me a lot of joys too. I became a lot closer to people, and I learned that love is a whole lot more than inclinations, infatuations or other similar heart-related issues, as my friends and I struggled to sort out feelings while boys we deeply cared about left for missions and prepared to leave. Someone broke an elevator...that really taught me a lot. Haha :) And glo and I really became closer as I tried to set her up with a pre-mish and as we had numerous girls nights and spent nearly every day at Young Hall. I got my first big brother and ate more ice cream and pepper fries than any healthy human being should in a lifetime. I also learned a lot about effort, and setting priorities. I played a lot and really did not enjoy school. Attitude makes a huge difference in learning, as one may see when comparing the grades I received last winter to all my other grades...At least it was a learning experience.

Then came summer, and a whole new world once I returned home to Oregon. People were different, and I didn't like the changes. My old friends and I drifted while I was in Utah, and we didn't have anything in common any longer. I got my first car and 2 jobs and my dad lost his job. My mom started working and our family struggled to adjust. I felt so alone, with glo and Kristie in other states, Nathan and Sean gone on missions and my old Oregon friends too stoned or too busy to talk to me. It was a wonderful summer though. I learned a lot about work, a little about compromise and a bit about relationships.

By August I was anxious to return to Provo. But Provo was different too. Isn't it funny how horrible different seems to us at first, nearly all the time? In my experience, however, different is often a really good thing, in the end. We just fear the risk of it not being so good. This last fall semester was full of different, and I was scared when it started off. I had some interesting experiences, and I saw new things in myself, both good and bad, and got to think about how I felt about who I was becoming and try to change that for the better. It's a work in progess, of course.

My family is changing, my roommates, friends are changing and I am changing. That's life, and it's interesting to watch.

In 2006, I changed my major 4 times (English, Linguistics, Journalism, Advertising)...I hiked some new mountains, and crossed some goals off my life checklist. I met amazing new people and lost some dear friends. I tried new things and really stepped out of my comfort zone and found that I can do basically anything if I try. It was an amazing year. At first when I was reflecting on 2006, it seemed like practically any other old year. But really, it was a year of newness. Every day is a new day, and every day in this new year holds new opportunities. Although it's easy to look at life cynically (as I am horribly good at that), it is so much more rewarding to see it for the good stuff. So what if my love life was messier than a tornado last year? And really, does it matter if last year was not a 4.0 academic one? The past is there, but dwelling on it is useless. Learning from it and moving on is our best bet to finding sure happiness.

I can tell already that 2007 will be a breakthrough year in many ways, with good friends getting married, a new boyfriend, major applications going in and other exciting stuff. And it's only January. I see 2007 being even more stellar than 2006 was. That is really saying something.